By Solome Nakaweesi-Kayondo

#The_Way_I_See_Things_As_A_Feminist:

These Women Fights About Men are Dehumanizing for Women. Surely Women need to reclaim themselves & their worth.

I have always insisted that the women’s fights about men/husbands/boyfies/one-nilers/intimate others undermines our integrity and personhood as women. And it’s worse now with social media with all these fights women celebrities & their fans are engrossed in; creating virtual armies on either sides, the fence-sitters that follow closely as if studying for an exam. And in-between millions of social media users that are drawn in the negative energies spilling all over.

Surely, with all the men, their d*cks & b*lls floating in this dusty Kampala, Africa & around the World; why would any woman that knows her true worth fight for a man? Why would you reduce your whole self to this individual and to fight another woman? Why do we glorify men? Are you that worthless that you deserve to be stripped of your dignity? Why do we tear each other down?? What can’t we ever learn the tools of the master that are used to oppress us?

Perplexing is the fact that I am in my 40s and for those within my age and above, hmmmm contrary to conventional thinking the men are many actually floating around – in reality they are too many we keep warding them off. There is so much choice for me to select from – if I really want to. As such, it really saddens me to see young women in their 20s & 30s wasting themselves fighting each other to death about men. These fights not only undermine these women but fuel and sustain a patriarchal system that oppresses and divides us. And where are these guys you are fighting about? While you fight below the belt, these your men are quiet – in essence, these guys are enjoying the drama of feeling important in a world where probably most men can only control women sexually (as significant empowerment has meant balancing scales in other sectors). Sisters, as you fight, you are feeding into these men’s egos while eating into your own self esteem & crushing each other.

Hello! Wake up Sisters, there is no shortage of men as you were told as u grew up, or what the media tells you… the men are there – actually so many, they are in droves just like bees… Only that society taught you that “there is scarcity of men” so as to control your sexuality so that your body can be controlled as it’s the best way to ensure clarity of male progny. And as a way of managing the “perceived scarcity” we are taught fight each other – whether it’s a real or perceived threat. But also thinking that your whole identity as a woman is an appendage to a man is bothersome. Yes, if your have the men in your intimate lives, let them be part of your wider self and what is happening in your life.

Reclaim yourselves and your dignity. Stop these fights cos they make women appear like you have no options and choices. And these fights undermine what some of us have fought for a lifetime…. Total women’s empowerment that begins from the self.

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