By Faridah Nakazibwe

I believe that communication is the rock on which every relationship rests. If you and your partner do not communicate effectively then you are both likely to experience anger, hurt and frustration as well as resentment for each other because of what is happening in your marriage. Couples that communicate well experience a fulfilled relationship, empathy and have great intimacy in their marriage .

Communication is perhaps the single most important aspect of a successful marriage .With it you can edify your spouse and grow in your relationship and learning to communicate with your spouse can make a marriage a truly beautiful union. When a couple chooses to improve communication, they will also improve the relationship and thereby improve the quality of their marriage for their own happiness.

Effective communication in marriage does not happen overnight. It’s a daily choice of being patient, loving your partner and understanding their verbal and emotional language and not choosing to force your opinion on your spouse without considering them. Always remember to listen to your spouse .When you listen to your spouse, your spouse will be more than willing to listen to you too.

Men – You have got to be good listeners and know that you can never expect to grow in your communication until you learn to truly hear one another and be wise enough to look at the issues raised even from your partner’s perspective. Always ask yourself one very important question, have I been listening to your wife lately?

Timing is important when it comes to talking about what affects us in relationships. Set aside time to address important topics. Know when to speak and when to listen. Read the situation and as if you need to be silent till its conducive to talk. If it’s hard to know how your spouse is feeling, ask yourself how you’d feel if you were him or her with the issues that they have raised .Do not forget to be empathetic as you try to resolve your differences.

Never criticize your partner as you try to sort out the problems that you have between the two of you .You can address actions, but don’t attack your partner. When you attack your partner, defenses rise and communication fails and that would not get you anywhere but, will only have more problems arising. Always be willing to give each other credit for differences and always be open to the idea that it may just be you that is in the wrong.

You can’t talk to your wives as you talk to your guy friends . You need to understand that a deeper meaning is often attached to what they are saying and therefore need to respond accordingly.

WOMEN, if you want your husband to understand something. Keep emotions under control and understand that nagging is a very bad way of communicating. It does not work at all.

Do not start building monuments of wrong to be brought out later when they are too big to deal with. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger. The longer an issue lingers, the harder it is to address. Be willing to humble yourself and forgive each other .Marriage is hard, people make mistakes but, you don’t always hold your partner against the wrongs they do. Marriage must be free flowing with grace.

I wish to end by saying that every marriage has it’s struggles at one time or the other but, always that effective communication in marriage requires a purposeful, daily action that gives each spouse an opportunity to be heard and valued.